Monthly Archives: March 2012

Mices and Meeses

Josh and myself were awoken early this morning to the sound of a mouse scurrying around our bedroom and noisily stealing papers.  Over a month ago Betty said she though there was a mouse living in her room, so we bought mouse traps and set the up.  A few weeks ago Josh thought he heard a mouse in the front room, so we moved one of the mousetraps downstairs.  So now I think we are going to have to buy bigger and better mousetraps.  The weirdest part is that we can not find any sign that any food stuffs have been touched, even things left out on the counters or floors.  It is mind boggling.

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Scale of Depression

Things I am learning about myself through writing this; When I am really really sick, I don’t write.  When I am really really depressed, I don’t write.  When I feel like my life has been so boring that there is absolutely nothing interesting enough that someone would want to read it, I write it down but often do not follow through with the posting of it.

Having suffered and lived through many years of horrible crushing depression, and now living on the outskirts of that black hole I am able to feel empathy for those currently suffering, and when I say that I am depressed it is rarely as bad as it used to be.  This thought has brought about an idea to create a realistic scale to quantify different levels of depression, as experienced by me.  Let’s stick with the basics and we’ll do a 1-10 scale.  I want to possibly make this list into a really pretty poster some day, and it might change by then.  This is a fairly unedited version for your viewing.

10 stages of Non-Suicidal Depression + 2

For all of you who do not suffer from depression, here’s a little guide:

0 Happiness – Yes, there is a world filled with rainbows and kittens.

.5 Minor Depression – Also commonly referred to as “being sad”.

1 Crying – Randomly break down into sobs. Often crying leads normal sadness into depression. You are sad, suddenly for no explicable reason you begin to cry, the crying won’t stop, and then, boom, depression.

2 Cleaning – Everything needs to be cleaned, even the things that were cleaned yesterday. You make sure everything you own is spotless and perfectly organized. After about 5 1/2 hours of this sometimes you feel better, unless during the cleaning you fell straight to stage 7, then it’s hopeless and you might as well just give up.

3 The Hug – You want someone to hold you and make it all better, but you will likely punch them in the face if they try to administer comfort.

4 Situational – A specific event occurs and creates a cloud that is hard to shake. That is, if you had the energy to even try to shake it. If you are a bystander please don’t try to make it better. This depression will eventually fade on it’s own, be it after one day or 48.

5 Abandonment – The world has abandoned you. Your friends have abandoned you. Even your family, who is standing next to you attempting to tell you how much you mean to them and how important you are, have abandoned you. It would be much better to just disappear than to feel like this.

6 The Hole Part 1 – Overwhelmed by the all-encompassing desire to find a hole, climb into it and never reappear.

7 Cleaning Part 2 – You pick a task, ie. Dishes. You begin the path toward that task, ie. Walking into the kitchen. You examine the task with a heavy sigh, ie. Staring at the full sink, cluttered counters, dirty stove and then sigh. You realize that there is nothing in the world that could force you to actually accomplish that task, ie. You have the full knowledge that many days later you will regret not having done the dishes when you had the time, but it does not matter because nothing matters and the only feasible option is to just sit and mope and not do anything and feel bad for yourself because you’re not doing anything.

8 Running Away – There is hope. Maybe if you run away from home all the pain will stay there instead of remaining your companion. Most of the time this fails simply because there is nowhere to run away to. Logically there are people who would welcome into there home for a long enough period of time, but then you would have to explain why you’re there. It is easier to just stay in bed.

9 The Hole Part 5 – Obsessed with the all encompassing desire to find a hole and put the bodies of all the annoying people in it.

10 Rainbows and Unicorns make me angry.

The Hungrier Games

Ruth summarized my feelings from when I watched The Hunger Games last week so efficiently that I am going to quote her instead of coming up with my own quip.

“Dear Hunger Games Movie,
You were awesome and I love you!!! but you gave me motion sickness and even I can hand hold a camera a ton better than that and still give the effect of living in the moment. ”

 

Molting Joshes

I can’t believe that this is only the end to Tuesday.  It is going to be a really long week.

I have now completed three days of riding my bike 2 miles.  I ride to my carpool in the morning and then back home after work.  It is one mile each way.  I am getting a little better each time at riding it.  I never really imagined how bad I could be at riding a bike, nor how completely out of shape I am for that type of cardio.  So it will be 3-4 days a week that I will be riding the 2 miles.  I am loving it so far and hope that it helps me out with my goals of becoming a model 😉

Josh has been overdoing it the last week with a little too much rock-climbing and mainly too much sun.  Last Thursday he came home lobster red, then on Saturday he played some golf and then a round of frisbee golf.  Yesterday he began to peel, and after about 4 hours in the sun again today he looks like a snake shedding its skin.  I’m undecided on what creature will emerge when the molt is over.  However, because of all the rock climbings he does have some fabulous muscles right now.  Yay!

I still don’t have any pictures of myself in my new glasses to share.  Sorry.  My friend Darcy took a bunch of pics of us during our lunch break today, but I wore my old glasses today for something different.  Ha ha.  Just my luck.

 

Working Stiff

There are some days at work where all you want to do is spend the entire day looking for a new job. It was not a good Monday.

Pirate Baby Shower

I have been so busy these last few weeks that I have not had time to post anything.  I apologize in advance, but this will probably be very long, and possibly not in any order that actually makes sense.

Tuesday night I went to a Mary Kay training meeting to be a guinea pig for my friend Ruth and let her practice on me.  They happened to be doing a blood drive for all the Mary Kay trainees there at the same time.  So I began by donating blood which was a lot of fun for me. I really think it has been close to 5 or 6 years since I last donated.  I got a free t-shirt for donating. Then I went out and had a facial and pedicure and had my toe and fingernails painted. It was a fantastic time catching up with Ruth, and the pampering was awesome too!

I am so used to being a poor starving college student, but now that I’m not a college student anymore I think that makes me just poor and starving.

Last weekend I drove down to St George for my sister’s baby shower.  I began my drive by picking up my friend Kristine at a Trax stop in Murray.  We went out to dinner, which was supposed to be a quick bite before my long drive, and we sat talking at IHop for nearly three hours.  At the end of the conversation, however, she told me that she wanted to buy my car.  I was ecstatic.  I told her that when I got back from my road trip she was welcome to take the car.

Sad to say, I am highly prone to fall asleep while driving. Which is why Josh almost always drives on our road trips.  This was the first time in a long time that I went on a trip by myself.  After only one and a half hours of driving I was feeling tired enough to pull over and take an hour nap.  When I started going again I stopped at the first gas station (yay random place in Scipio) and bought my first 5 hour energy shot thing.  I drank half of it and made the rest of the drive without even feeling tired.  It did take me until 4am to fall asleep and then I was wide awake at 8am.  It’s the first time I think I experienced what Josh feels all the time with not being able to sleep.

Friday was an absolutely fabulous day.  I was able to spend the entire day hanging out with my mom.  We went to lunch with my sister, which was fantastic.    It made me realize that we need more opportunities to spend with just us girls.

I got the cupcakes made before going to bed Friday night.  Most of the prep was done Saturday morning.  It was fabulous to have the help of the aunts and cousins.  I don’t think we could have got everything ready in time without them.  I will let the photos show most of the amazingness of the shower, but there was a huge turnout.  Everybody seemed to love my outfit, and many people told me I should get into throwing parties such as being a wedding planner.  Warning:  There are a lot of pictures, I narrowed it down, but there are still a lot of pictures.  Enjoy!

I spent Saturday evening with my mom and I can’t express how much I loved being able to spend some one on one time with her.

Sunday I drove back home with the help of the second half of my 5 hour energy. I picked Kristine up in Salt Lake on the way back up.  When we arrived in Brigham I found the title to my car, signed it over, and we cleaned all my stuff out of the car and I said goodbye to it.

After a few days of talking to Josh about what new car to get we have decided to wait a while before getting another vehicle.  I am now going to ride my bike to meet my car pool every day that I am not driving, and then when I do drive the car pool we still have two vehicles so that we can both get where we need to.  I believe that it is going to work out for the best.

So since it has been over two weeks since I have posted so here is the current listings in my attempts at weight loss:  (note:  Looks like I can’t find all my notes on the weights that I had not blogged on yet, so I will have to recheck my notes and such to get the more exact numbers)

Sarah Work:  First 202.2, Second 197.8, Third 198.6, Fourth 199.0, Fifth 198.8, Sixth 197.6, Seventh 194.8 and Eighth 199.6.

Sarah Fat Camp: First 195.6, Second 194, Third 197.1, Fourth 195.6, Fifth 193.8, Sixth 197ish, Seventh 194.8 and Eighth 195.8.

Josh Fat Camp:First 168.2, Second 166.9, Third 169.8, Fourth 167.6, Fifth 166, Sixth 165.3, Seventh 166.9 and Eighth 167.3.

Another Week Begins

Things I am learning about myself through writing this; When I am really really sick, I don’t write.  When I am really really depressed, I don’t write.  When I feel like my life has been so boring that there is absolutely nothing interesting enough that someone would want to read it, I write it down but often do not follow through with the posting of it.

Speaking of which, I began the following post in the middle of last week and it never became a finished piece, so here is the beginning of it and then I will continue from there.

Having suffered and lived through many years of horrible crushing depression, and now living on the outskirts of that black hole I am able to feel empathy for those currently suffering, and when I say that I am depressed it is rarely as bad as it used to be.  This thought has brought about an idea to create a realistic scale to quantify different levels of depression, as experienced by me.  Let’s stick with the basics and we’ll do a 1-10 scale.

I finished this scale today, however it has not met the Josh approval and will have to go through a few revisions before I am allowed to post it.  (Meaning I thought it was hilarious and he said, “If you think that’s funny then I can tell that you are feeling a little depressed today.  Wait until you are not depressed and then work on it and add the humor into it, then it will not sound like a cry for help.”  I paraphrase because I can’t remember his exact words.  But that is the general idea of the veto.

I need to post my weight stuffs since I slacked on that on Sunday so here we go with this week’s weigh ins:

Sarah Work:  First 202.2, Second 197.8, Third 198.6, Fourth 199.0, Fifth 198.8 and Sixth 197.6.

Sarah Fat Camp: First 195.6, Second 194, Third 197.1, Fourth 195.6 and Fifth 193.8.  (190 and a new hat is getting closer every day!!)

Josh Fat Camp:First 168.2, Second 166.9, Third 169.8, Fourth 167.6, and Fifth 166.

Friday I made tested cupcakes for the baby shower (less than two weeks!).  I pawned them off on friends so that I wouldn’t screw up all my hard work toward losing weight.  They were amazing and I can’t wait to make them for the shower next week.

Saturday was a day of pretty bad depressions.  I went shopping by myself for 3 hours and spent over $150.  Then Josh allowed me to cancel our dinner plans (meaning we had an argument and I stormed off and canceled them without telling him and he was a little upset because he found out in the middle of cooking dinner for everyone).  So really sometimes I am a horrible person.  But Josh made me a delicious dinner and then we went and saw The Lorax, which was not as good as I wanted it to be, but if you really want to see it I would not tell you not to go.  Umm…yeah.  Anyway.  Sunday was a lot better most of the day.   The homework was a bit of a stressful moment.  But I repaired our torn sheet with mad sewing skills and did a little bit of laundry.  Between the two of us Josh and I got all the dishes done.

Today was a normal horrible Monday.  I got pulled over on my drive to work this morning.  It really sucks because I was not late!  I just was not paying attention to how fast I was going and I tend to have a lead foot.  I was clocked at 10 over (85/75) which, happily, is not the same that my speedometer said when I saw the cop and looked down.  I thought he got me at closer to 93.  Anyway, I was given a warning.  I made it to work only 3 minutes late after being pulled over for about 7.  (See, was not late to begin with!)  I appreciate the warning because I had a few years of lots of speeding tickets, and this is only my second time being pulled over in the last 5 years.  I am trying to be better!!